Honk If You Have Vanity Plates

Walking through a small town during its summer Friday night car show lined on the streets of its center of shops and restaurants.

Hundreds of meticulously cared for automobiles, hot rods, cruisers, antique horseless wagons and pimped out rides (um...just transportation for the rest of us folks) aligned for showcasing, bragging rights and a place to catch up with people of similar interests.

I too, crave social networking and sharing of ideas of hobbies but one aspect of this Back to the Future showcase of metal and paint I don't quite get is the fact every owner of these "Cherry" rides looks the same. I thought I just crashed a Kenny Rogers convention during Frontier Days.

Perhaps OCD pet owners indistinctly start looking like their pets after a few years of living together, but every car enthusiast I witnessed had salt-n-pepper hair, a un-groomed goatee, beer belly, acid wash jeans, and Blu-blocker sunglasses-OH, and that was just the female owners. (sorry, it was too easy. I couldn't resist on a Friday)

Does spending hours detailing, caring and cleaning an engine and using Q-tips in seat cracks that even 3-year-old Hubba Bubba gum wouldn't dare hide, create an atmosphere of a Smokey & The Bandit personality combined with a Dukes of Hazard throwback polyester flannel button down shirt? If so, I'm taking up Scrapbooking instead.

I'm afraid to go to a local boat show this weekend. I'm sure I'll see similar landscapes and the aroma of Christmas tree air fresheners as well. However, replacing the car owner's "Mustang Logo" baseball cap that matches his ride, will be 60-year-old Gilligan and Skipper wannabees showcasing their varnished decks while exposing their corduroy short SHORTS and two sizes too small golf shirts. Anyone have a chamois? I'm going to tear up and I don't want the drops to Bead Up on the paint job of my 1968 Chevy Camaro with a 406 ci SBC Transmission: TH350 w/Stage 2 Shift Kit.