Roughing it on Broadway

I'm confused. I mean more than usual. I'm trying to pass your SUV on steroids and see it has more accessories than an Imelda Marcos walk in closet. It’s a vehicle, not testing facility for the Discovery Channel.

Tell me, are you going camping or did you just get done looting the Sports Authority?

From bikes to kayaks to tents and duffel bags. From GPS and iPods to Bluetooth headsets to Satellite radios. What ever happened to roughing it without a Four Seasons Hotel room key?

What does SUV mean to you? Stuff Until Vomit.

The irony is I guarantee you aren’t traveling farther than to the first road that doesn’t have a traffic light. I can see you unpacking in front of a Rain Forest Café because you saw a tree that didn’t have a bike rack near it.

Dude, save the thousands of dollars you spent buying items that said “titanium”, “halogen lit” or “aerodynamically infused technology” and buy a plane ticket to Wyoming where no matter what town you land in, you will already be roughing it 10x more than what I see you stuffed into your Swiss Army Knife with wheels.

Wouldn’t it make you feel better just to buy an Xbox360 with a First Person survival game. I’m sure your muscles would appreciate the fact that you aren’t trying to prove to the world that you and survivalist Lance Armstrong only have ONE thing in common-YOUR yellow wristbands.