Time to Watch Curb Appeal

Whoa...Hold on just a moment. I have to stop and see that again. Just drove by your modest 1br home with a one car garage and was caught off guard by the fact your yard has enough objects and accessories to qualify for a Strip Mall.

If you aren't holding a garage sale, explain to me why you have enough junk (I mean personal items of interest) on your front lawn to qualify for two days on HSN (Home Shopping Network..Like I really had to spell that for you)

Let's be kind and say your small abode is worth $350,000. Now lets add up the 45 ft. boat, 35 ft. camper, the Belgian block driveway and retaining wall, the two ATVs, three motorcycles, a heated pool that IS your backyard (Serious, you can actually use the gas grill shelf next to the sliding door as a diving board), chain link FRONT fence, a dog house, cat house, bird house, outhouse, pool house (which is the old dog house) to come up with a conservative estimate of $900,000.

You must REALLY love that home to have more money invested in CostCo toys and yard ornaments than in the equity of your house itself.

I know, a 1/32th of an acre just doesn't hold as much junk as it did 20 years ago.

Do you come home and reflect on the fact that if you sold even 30% of your yard's value you could bail out the Mortgage Companies and leave the government out of it?

Do you ever think for a moment that Going Green doesn't count if your 150 solar outdoor yard lights took up the allotted space for grass, trees and flowers. Of course not, because you gotta love gravel landscaping next to faux bright red mulch as much as I do.

Now on the bright side, I'm sure you are going to have fond memories of being able to walk outside your paneling walled bedroom and REV up the first thing that has a dip stick. But when you can't figure out how come your credit cards unlimited limit gets limited by forgetting the minimum payment since 2003, just take out that pimped out Gokart that is one muffler short of street legal and run down to the bank to open a new line of credit.

By the time you navigate around your six cars (five that actually aren't on blocks) and find a bank to welcome you, the H&G channel will be back at your house preparing for the Before Shot of the new SHOW, "Neighbors Don't Let Neighbors Drive, Barbecue, Mow Lawns or Purchase Pink Flamingos Drunk".