I...WANT..MY...OLD...TV

Years ago it started with a small peacock and three letters in the lower right corner. An almost nonchalantly array of hiding nothing of importance.

But each year the TV networks get bolder and more intrusive adding to their graphics and stats while the actual show becomes only a thumbnail of existence.

When I'm watching a football game, I do want to see the score and the down/yds to go. But you don't have to use up a Manhattan billboard of the actual screen to prove your point.

When I'm catching the Headline News, I don't need to see stocks, weather, the time in Paraguay, a Paris Hilton sightings recap and product placement ads all framing the postage stamp image of the story I'm trying to watch. One graphic at a time would be sufficient.

When I'm watching a suspenseful or drama movie on cable, I don't want to see a person poke their head in superimposed from another show on the same network acting like they are part of the plot line. (Note to network honchos: Seeing Holly Hunter wearing a sundress to promote her show as I am waiting to see if Detective Sipowitz is going to go off the wagon or smack his partner doesn't make me add to my Tivo schedule anytime soon.)

I might as well listen to the radio, for as little as I actually SEE on my big screen TV anymore. I blame MTV (do I sound like anyone's father yet?). I knew when they started that irritating technique of the shaking camera, adding a short micro second bursts of an image, can't see a face for more than a speed of light moment, we were going down a slippery slope of digressing the initial technology of creating TV in the first place.

(NOTE for educational purposes: If you divide a still image into a collection of small colored dots (pixels), your brain will reassemble the dots into a meaningful image-the definition of how a TV works)

My brain has enough issues trying to see if Lauren from the Hills and Kim Kardashian are ever going to combine forces and defeat the Style Villains of LA than to decipher a half dozen additional graphics, stats and scrolling messages that have invaded my own grey matter.

Instead of adding to our brain freeze, let's create a channel of only long visual camera takes, conversations that last more than a text message and plot lines that have a beginning, middle and climax. The only graphic I want to see is the title of the show flash in front of me and a quick "THE END" so I know I can flip to SportsCenter.

If I need more information, I'll just click the Google function on my cell phone screen. My only issue is my phone is too small and I wish they would remove the images and show all the cool graphics and stats available scrolling by my phone network. Wink