Elevator Etiquette Redux

Elevator Protocol. Someone needs to stand up for it. It might as well be you and I as you are right there in front of me ignoring me.

Gahead, pretend I’m not here. That’s right. look away, look at your feet and your hands that you have known since birth.

Don’t even ask me to push your floor's button just because I’m already pushing mine, that would be interacting with a human being without invitation. Spend that effort to push it yourself. You know your body's limitations more than anyone.

Honestly, it isn't going to add to my Todo list by pressing TWO buttons instead of ONE. It is the least I can do. I get bored easily.

Maybe some constructive advice. If we share a short elevator trip, 2-3 floors, work up a "Have a nice day" and a smile to add a courteous touch to both of our lives.

Long trip, anything over five floors, "A quick hello, smile and a nice weather conversation ending with the proverbial 'have a nice day' would make me happy."

Now that you got me started, Why in the world are you taking the elevator up only ONE flight in the first place. No.. NO. I'm sorry but we need to talk. We have at least 15 more seconds before you make your escape to a floor you could have arrived at 5 minutes ago if you walked.

I'm sure you have your reason to extend your day by waiting for an elevator and stopping the rest of us from getting to the real destinations that are above and beyond the 40 extra steps it would take to get you to put one foot in front of the other.

Let's see, you have a bunion problem? No, um..you have vertigo? No. um..OH I get it..you just want to test out your claustrophobia resilience on the rest of us as we all have to back up to allow you and your Samsonite-sized, fake Prada bag to fit in this canister of altitude adjustment.

If I didn't have this big sandwich, chips and drink in my hand, I'd be taking the stairs myself...um.. well, maybe not but I'd wait for the next elevator and share my lunch with them.