Friday, July 13, 2007

ECYA (email to cover your ass)

Yes. Yes. Email the world to ensure the management gods see you actually did something today and more importantly wrote it over the course of the morning.

Remember those who do. Actually do it. Those who don't, write or tell about it while cc ing the business world and blocking important people from being productive as a result of having to read your waste of bandwidth and dribble of words that should only be recycled for cat litter fodder before we regurgitate it in paper form.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Life in an Elevator

Elevator Protocol
Ok, you stand there in front of me. Pretend I’m not here. That’s right, don’t ask me to push your floor button just cause I’m already pushing mine, that would be interacting with a human being without invitation.

Short trip, two floors-Have a nice day.
Long trip, over five floors-Quick hello, nice weather and have a nice day would be welcome.

I think I’ll take the stairs next time.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Are You Going My Way?

Don't worry, I see you walking behind me with my peripheral vision. I can tell you are walking faster, trying to catch up to time it perfectly so I can hold the door open for you. No problem, common courtesy, etiquette and the difference between us and apes.

So, why do so many people pretend to NOT see you behind them, to hurry through the door to avoid having to hold it for 3 seconds longer than otherwise needed. I'm sure their lives are much more important than ours and unless we actually say, "hold the door please!", the courtesy will not occur.

New rule, If I'm within 10 paces of you as you reach the door first, you are obligated to hold it for me unless you have your hands full, then I will be glad to step up to the task and hold it for you while you enter first, thus making kharma for the morning good for both of us.

footnote: This isn't a gentleman for a lady only event. Unless someone is behind you with an axe or chainsaw yelling "I know what you did last summer" or "Have you checked the children yet?", hold the door and open the possibilities of being appreciated instead of being "tsked" at.

(y'know, tsk tsk with the rolling eyes as you look past them)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Doncha wish your car could be more like mine, Doncha?

Hellooo DMV... Heavy traffic moving fast. The law states you should stay back one vehicle length for every 10 mph's of speed. Why does anyone think they are going to get to where they are going faster if they cut in front of me with no space for safety when I'm just trying not to hit the vehicle in front of me?

We all should have one time a day where we can not only report a driver who thinks of only their journey and not others' demise, but where we can push a button on our OnStar, XM, GPS, radar detector or cell phone and they receive the Scarlet badge of bad driving. If they receive more than 10 a week, they have to ride a bike for a month or stand on the median wearing a sign that says.."Honk if you think I'm an Ass".

I can hear the echoing of horns worldwide...ahhhhh

Idk my bff Jill?

Although this is one of my favorite commercials, I truly worry about all of our children's social interaction whether it's texting, IMing or emailing. For adults, we have already been (hopefully) taught proper grammer and sentence structure.

We for the most part know how to spell. I force myself to expand my emails and not use Txt speak - , ..., ROFLOL and abbreviations because of the reflection on my work.

But young children saving seconds off of their messages, and strokes off of their phone tapping have evolved into a synopsis of a SCRAMBLE game.

Perhaps as phones become smarter and finish the words for the user, The young reader/viewer will still assemble in their minds the proper way to communicate. I lv txtng, but I miss words and thoughts that flow.


Monday, July 9, 2007


A new word from the Cynical Buzz dictionary.
(Neg-a-po-sit-ory noun, singular.
1. a holding cell to store all negative, cynical and annoying pet peeves in one area with the purpose of dispelling them into positive thoughts for the day.


Sitting in a meeting to discuss a meeting that was planned to review the last meeting's notes about our next meeting. I don't know about you but I think ill just wait for the meeting after.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

An hour to live for

3:35 p.m. to 4:35 p.m. on November 5, 1962 was the only hour since records started being kept that no death was officially recorded.

Where were you on this day, at this time, for this moment?

I wasn't born yet..but could that have been the safest hour in any lifetime?

Stoic Morning Greeting

What is that? You can’t say “hi” or “good morning” when you see someone for the first time each day? Is that too much energy to waste? Is it too much of a burden? Is it a slippery slope, where you fear that they might stop you and ask you “how you are doing?” and you would actually might, possibly have to answer.

Remember George Carlin used to hate when someone told him to have a good day as it put all the pressure on him.

Acknowledge, smile, raise an eyebrow or head nod….but let others know you don’t truly have something protruding UP YOUR Attitude by ignoring someone you can actually influence down the road.

If A is B, then C is D;But C is not D;Therefore, A is not B

July 4th Fireworks Rant

Trying to grasp the fact of why do we care about fireworks? Seriously, unless you are in charge of them, sell them, or work with children who relish the first moment of seeing flashes of light repeated with eardrum bursting sounds…why?

How many different ways can you say oooh and ahhhh. How many times can you look at the sky and think, is this the grand finale?

A scrooge of independence day?...No, I think not. But PULEASE. It was exciting hundreds of years ago before electricity was invented, before the internet and TMZ, etc.. But now, if you are older than 18, have you ever seen an original firework show since you were five?

Go ahead, celebrate the nations birthday, enjoy the time with family and friends, but if you don't care to see the local volunteer fire dept. shoot up their yearly budget of new hoses for bottle rockets...then WHY?

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Merging Traffic

Why do drivers who have two or more lanes to drive on, choose the one you need to merge onto? Why do they refuse to move over without stifling their progress to allow you to join the traffic sooner than later?

Easy answer. They are racing anyone and everyone to work, to home again, to the store or the next place of destination...even though no one else is going to their destination except themselves.


The energy it takes to express your anger and sadness is multiplied by many than the energy it takes to smile at others. When I leave the room with negative people, I have truly lost breaths I will never gain back again. Whether it's at work or if they are your friend, as I age, I choose to stand away from their influences.