Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Slicer Dicer and Ginzu Knife walk into a bar...

Late night infomercial showcasing a new amazing, space age, state of the art, cutting edge cleaning sponge. Outstanding absorbency that combines both Karate Kid's "WAX ON and WAX OFF" cleaning in one yellow ball of softness.

I have no idea the cost because they won't tell me until I waste another 20 minutes of my life watching this woman who has never washed a car in her life wash a car she would never be caught dead in, but, I do know that it will last a lifetime and that alone forces my credit card to flex out of my wallet.

Oh wait, if I act now, I get an additional one at no extra cost. FANTASTIC. Um. but if it lasts a lifetime, why do I need another one? I'm only washing one car at a time, I'm ambidextrous, but can't use both hands at once. I'm confused as they had me at, "Have you ever needed...." and lost me at "quantities are running low". Low quantities? If they stop giving free ones away, they would have more for suckers like me. Forget it. I'm going back to watching TONY LITTLE and his fat ponytail ride the Gazelle. At least I know it's only $329 and look how his body has just melted away using it for 20 years. Better yet, I'm going to listen to the sounds of 90's rock. I have 10 more CD's coming if I continue to pay off my loan to my lifetime music club.

No comments: