Indecent Exposure to an Impatient Flasher

Stop & Go traffic, early morning and nobody is more anxious to get to work than I. Trying to keep a safe distance from the car in front you is difficult at times especially if you follow the law of 1 car length for every 10 mph of speed like I do (wink). But, when you are going 3 miles an hour with your foot on the break 90% of the time and some impatient driver is flashing his new halogen blue lights at you, where does he think you are going to go if you actually could move?

Does he think he's Bruce Almighty and can part the traffic sea of frustration at a whim or a flash of brights? Dude!! Even if I could move to another lane, why would I give you the satisfaction of allowing you get to your work 5 seconds before me? Worse yet, is the fact that someone behind me actually moved to the emergency lane to let him pass. OMG, he's driving a Camaro, not an emergency vehicle. The only thing he is in hurry for is to get to McDonald's before their Breakfast sandwiches are replaced by Big Macs at 10:30. (scary that I know the time of menu change at a fast food restaurant)

I appreciate courtesy drivers and polite commuters that let you merge without pretending to ignore your need to join their mangled group of lane marauders. But there is more of a chance that gas will be under $3.00 a gallon again than I would oblige to move over for this guy when the rest of the state has to endure the mighty transportation infrastructure quandary. If you hope for me to move, remove your fuzzy dice from your mirror, roll a seven and kiss your spinning wheels for luck and perhaps the dump truck next to you won't drop a load on your cheap Maaco paint job before the next exit.