Monday, September 22, 2008

Acting the Wrong Way on the Right-A-way

No..Please, it's ok. Take your time. As a human being and licensed driver, I of course will slow down as I see you beginning to cross the street in the middle of rush hour without acknowledging danger or the assumption I DON'T want to hit you.

I mean, You aren't disabled, overweight, old or have an emergency. I get it. You just need to cross the street. I understand WHY...As we ALL need to get to the other side.

But have some sense of urgency for my sake. Act like you see my 1/2 ton piece of steel and leather coming at your self indulgent smirk.

I have no problem giving you the right-a-way even when you don't wait for an intersection. But give a little back, my tortoise with a trench coat friend. Give me a wave of acknowledgement, a tiny shuffle of a step faster, something to show me you actually appreciate the fact that I could have made you a hood ornament before 9am.

I do understand. You are too proud to actually make some valiant effort to hurry yourself for anyone but yourself. You are important and to have anyone this side of your embarrassing family tree see that your effort into getting across one lane equals the 200m time of Gold Medalist Usain Bolt is unacceptable.

I'll just stop my life and watch you casually pace yourself and imagine that the next time I see your Flasher Wannabe outfit on a street, I'm going to still let you pass but perhaps skim that puddle next to you testing your waterproofed deep double stitched, buckled J. Peterman Knock off.

(Yes. Referencing Seinfeld episodes just makes me less cynical)

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