Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Musical Chairs

I understand freedom of expression. Music wouldn't be entertaining if it were all the same genre, sound or compilation of rhythms. But I decided to create my own rules anyway.

Rule #1. Please don't rhyme words or make up words just for the sake of rhyming.

"Me and LorenzO
sitting in my Benz-O"

I could say anything O
just to pretend I have talent O

or

"Had a brother at Khe Sahn fighting off the Viet Cong.
They're still there he's all gone.
He had a woman he loved in Saigon."

Bruce, really...you have written thousands of songs...gotta have a dictionary somewhere in your house. Where does those three words express rhyme to you?

or

"What the deal playboy, just rest your soul.
Got these ladies on the rock now you know how we go.
Got the whole world on lock down you know how we flow."

Jay-Z.... different words, not one actually rhymes. I mean, you had three chances to find one word that matches. Even with the Internet you can find a word that rhymes with anything else except "orange".

Rule # 2. Please don't repeat the same verse more times than a human breathes in an hour. Catchy or not, if you hear that verse for two straight weeks..it's not a song, it's a death march.

"Blinded by the light.
Revved up like a Deuce.
Another runner in the night
[repeat until you die a slow long painful demise]

If I wanted to hear that verse again, I'd hit repeat on my iPod.

or my new LEAST favorite of John Mayer.

His verse, "Say what you need to say...say what you need to say" [He repeats it no less than 36 times in 2 minutes.]

JOHN... Say what you mean to say..and STOP saying it.

Rule #3. Don't sample a great song from 10 years ago and then tell me you are an artist. There is a reason that people like your updated version....because the best part is what you stole in the first place.

Ok I'm done venting
I'm through chanting
I'm just saying less
to get it off my chest

and I just said what I needed to say in less time than it took John to clear his throat.

1 comment:

The Kimster said...

Give me an A to the M to the E to the N!

:)