Monday, October 6, 2008

The New Math

It must seem that my life is spent in a line. As I run my errands throughout the week or weekend, I realize I spend wasteful amounts of time behind lines of people that just seem to believe no one watches them. To my chagrin or lack of something to do with more value, I seem to be the one who notices.

Quick lesson: When it says 10 items or less for THAT particular cashier's line. It simply means that. There is no interpretation of the law, no need to appeal, argue or gather names for a petition. It is 10 or less. If you got 11, go ahead, I'm a nice guy.

However, if you try to sneak in 19, Can I call the Handy Helper security number? Can we check your shopping IQ? It didn't say to round DOWN to the nearest 10, nor did it say to use a number that can be divisible by 10, let alone a number that can be lumped into sets. Your dozen eggs do count for one item. But your 15 individually wrapped fruits and veggies combined with the 9 wrapped deli packages do not count as ONE food group in this line mister.

I'd have more respect if you went in with 9 and got back in the same line with 9 more. At least then I would think you aren't assuming the rest of us didn't pass the 8th grade.

Yeah, yeah, we are ALL in a hurry. We all have something to do before the weekend ends. We all have something we won't be able to finish because we are stuck in this line that is supposedly an express check out. It's ok, the world does revolve around you. What else would explain your ability to cheerfully grab 7 other items, while in line, that could feed the Brady Bunch for two months when you were just gonna grab a "few things that you forgot".

The merchant gods must have been watching as the line next to you opened up for me and all your fruits and vegetables needed a price check from my favorite Cashier, so you will be here until Daylight Savings changes or until you can write, "I will not count 9 cases of Red Bull as one item 100 times, I will not count 9 cases of......"

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