Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Think-Over for the MakeOver

As you non-chalantly walk down the street with your friends, family or hopefully alone, a stranger walks up to you and to your surprise.....decides that YOU are the lucky recipient of an AMBUSH Makeover.

OK...why are you thrilled with the idea that out of the millions of inhabitants of your wonderful city, you were chosen to need the most HELP. Run now before we all watch your life's most embarrasing moment since you wore the same prom dress as YOUR date.

Excuse me, but isn't this as thrilling as after a few weeks of not seeing someone and they start off greeting you with, "You look good. Have you lost some weight?" Whether you did or not, it meant you needed to drop some poundage anyway. No, no matter how you try to justify it, this wasn't a compliment.

Is it me or do you think the prospect that YOU are the one who needs help with your style, hair, make up and frumpy outfits should offend you, not elate you? Are you screaming and jumping up and down because you finally got your 15 minutes of fame or because you think they are paying you for this comedy they are producing.

This is not a way to start your day after you have spent the last few years thinking you got your life in order. A makeover means only one thing. Everyone within an earshot of you is laughing at you in public daily. You don't need a makeover, you need a strong drink and some new friends if they never had the courage to tell you NOT to wear matching outfits with the office UPS man.

Watching a makeover show to see the transformation from an ugly duckling to a golden swan is enjoyable to the that is me. But what could be going through your mind when you thought you were ALL THAT in the first place.

Perhaps that explains the multiple boyfriends who used that "ITS ME, NOT YOU" excuse over and over as they kept asking if you were a mechanic.

Realize for your own good, there are millions of dollars spent every day publishing style and hair magazines. (At least that is what I have heard)
Read just one or ALL of them and then look at your SOMETHING ABOUT MARY hair flip style combined with anything Janeane Garofalo wears anytime and do something about it before these two obnoxious style mavens ambush you and ask you if you have an hour to change your life.

Yeah, tell them you have all the time in the world, to hide from the general public until bright colored overalls and bad perms that make Roseanne Barr cringe come back into style.

Better yet, go back to bed and wake up again. Tomorrow, bedhead might be the next NEW look.


Anonymous said...

Although I would personally suffer grave humiliation with this public Frump-labeling, I think you have a very male perspective on this. These poor souls are so far behind the curve that they would not know where to begin. They have adopted the "I don't need to be so vain because I am a worthwhile person anyway" defense after being dumped with the "It's me not you" excuse.....but really know that they are in drastic need of help. They are relieved that someone shows interest and will handhold them through the scary process of getting their groove back! Hence, cut the frumps a break - I really think they are thrilled! I realize it's sexist, but not many men worry about their groove!

Cynical Buzz said...

point taken...but its not the frumpy out of groove women I am concerned about as they would most likley REFUSE to have it aired and just ask to have a private session to understand how they can better themselves. ...and I can tell you that women or men worry that they need to be REFRESHED or updated...just don't do it in front of millions of people. That isn't asking for help..that is asking for a posting on a blog....but appreciate your comments just the same. CBuzz