Monday, August 4, 2008

Time is Money for Only a Selected Few

Huge sporting goods grand opening this weekend. Hundreds of anxious patrons lined up around the building awaiting the doors to open. What could be so thrilling? What is so amazing where someone would spend a Sunday morning AND afternoon standing in line with other humans with no lives?

An autograph from their favorite ballplayer? Four tickets to a game? A lifetime supply of tube socks? No, it has to be much more valuable for this long and winding crowd. These intellectual wonders of our society are lined up to receive a $10.00 gift card to SPEND in the sporting goods store. NOT cash, not hundreds of dollars, but a $10.00 gift card that has an expiration date.

Unless they all walked to the store, they spent that much money already driving to the store. Unless they feel that a ten spot is going to drastically reduce a pair of $150.00 Air Jordans to anything below $140.00, their life perceptions are completely out of whack.

I must have lost my value of a dollar as I wouldn't spend ONE hour to wait for a gift card that is less than the $25 blockbuster card still sitting in my wallet from 2002 (who rents movies anymore?).

I have 48 hours maximum of a weekend escape, but there is nothing more valuable to me than standing in 95 degree sun on a sidewalk to ensure I got the deal of a lifetime that rivals my trip to the Poconos for five hours to listen to a four hour sales pitch of a timeshare to receive a free trip to the Bahamas as long as I pay for airfare and go between July 6-9 during a leap year.

Next week, I'm going to offer all of those thrifty shoppers a gift they truly can benefit from. Stay home, go to the online store of the same name and receive a $10.00 first time user gift card. All you have to do is send me $9.95 plus shipping and handling and I'll send you the web site address. (Hint, it starts with WWW.)


Anonymous said...

Good Writing!

Anonymous said...

Okay okay so I am one of those eve nieves that are taken in by the thought of a great discount or outstanding sale! Every year on the Wasatch Front they have the after Thanksgiving sale! So last year at the butt crack of dawn my daughters and I travelled to the big city in our conquest for great finds at even great prices.....HA...LOL...what the freak ever!! The store that I had in my sights was Circuit City and the next to nothing that they promised I would have to pay for a laptop....They failed of course to announce on their T.V. spot that only the FIRST 50 people in line got this bargain grrrrrrrrrr...
So we stand in line for 2 hours freezing our you know whats off for NOTHING!!!
The moral of this story....if it sounds to good to be true IT FREAKIN IS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE.