Thursday, May 1, 2008

Impulsive Compulsive Shopping

Grocery stores could have you in and out of a checkout line faster than it took you to decide you were hungry. But they don't because of people like me. "Hi, My name is (STATE YOUR NAME HERE) and I'm an impulse buyer." Yes, its true, I go into a SuperPathGrandA&PSTOP&SHOP to buy a head of lettuce and garbage bags and I leave with $290 worth of vitamin water, specially infused juices, the newest magazines, a 'cool' new package of the same deodorant I have used for years that cost $6 more now because it looks better but smells the same.

I grab anything that says six for the price of five even though I never bought or needed ONE of them EVER. Don't even get me started on the cereal aisle where you know you are in trouble when Cap'n Crunch is the less appealing box on the wall. Then as I'm waiting for the lady in front of me who bought one of those 1/2 boxes of eggs, one thing of yogurt, a pint of half & half and a People magazine, I realize she has to be single. No. No, not because of her purchases, just because she is really ugly. (old joke I threw in because its early it the morning)

Back to the aisle where I bought 3 packs of the newest gum with the newest way to have taste last 11 seconds in your mouth, an eyeglass repair kit (for who? if I could see the screws in my glasses I wouldn't need glasses), seven different types of batteries and ANOTHER nail clipper so I have one in every drawer in the house. Remind me next time I need lettuce to just start a garden. I can't be trusted just cause I have a special store membership card that saves me 23 cents on my total purchases.

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